It has already been quite some time (almost five years) since our last conversation. Time flies and I miss you. Our conversations have always inspired me to evolve and I am finally taking a moment to stop and talk with you. As you probably remember, there were three growing children at my side. I know that you understand how, for me, the family has always represented the most important part of personal growth and insight. I have cherished every moment shared with my children and crossed many thresholds. As I accompanied them in their discovery of the greatest and the most fragile aspects of themselves, I ended up finding myself. You knew me as a person who loved life, was filled with energy, and was always seeking new challenges. Are you ready to hear the latest?
I thought that I was beginning to regain my freedom. My children were getting closer and closer to leaving the nest. But, at almost forty years of age, I learned that I was unexpectedly pregnant. We so often believe that we can plan our future. But, the present always reminds us that it is only possible to make choices in the here and now. I decided to give life to this wonderful little girl I named Rose. I call her my rebirth because that is what she represents. This event has allowed me to put many things in my life into perspective. Since I obviously had less physical energy, I had to slow down and reduce my activities. This enriching but sometimes difficult stage of my life brought me to a burn out three years later.
Last spring, I turned forty-three. It is not just my body that can’t keep up any longer but my head and my heart as well. It is as if I had to give meaning to all that defines my being. In a nutshell, I am actually a little lost. Who I was and what I did before Rose’s arrival is no longer appealing. I get dizzy with the thought of running off in all directions. However, I’m still seeking to reinvent myself. It is as if her arrival was the beginning of my own gestation period. I hope to give birth to myself but I don’t yet know how. You, who have always been so wise, talk to me. I need to hear your voice. Tell me how you are and send me your advice.
I hope to see you soon.
Yours truly, Élaine